How to Make Sure Mommy is Late, Every Morning

For some reason, mommy gets us ready every morning and insists on taking me to day care. Don’t get me wrong, I love going to daycare with my nice teachers and playing with my friends, but sometimes I just want to stay at home and play.

Fellow babies, if you have the same problem, follow this plan and you will definitely get to stay at home for at least an extra 20 to 40 minutes. Babies, it is time we reclaimed our mornings!

Step 1. The first step actually starts the night before. Be sure to wake up as often as possible in the middle of the night. This way, mommy will not get any sleep and will accidently sleep in. She will now be in a sleep deprived fog, making it very difficult for her to get ready in the morning. This should get you some extra time in the morning to play with your toys.

Step 2. When it is time for mommy to change your morning diaper, don’t give in. This one is easy, because mommy usually hasn’t had any of that coffee drink yet. Make sure you squirm and wiggle around as much as you can. I mean, why does she insist on putting that thing on me, anyway? This should buy you at least five extra minutes.

Step 3. Mommy now thinks she has won the battle because you are changed and dressed, but think again mommy. When it is time to eat, refuse to even touch your food. Mommy hates it when you don’t eat! You could also smear some blueberries onto your shirt so that she has to change you again. Then, refuse to drink your milk. Maybe she will give you apple juice, but be sure to refuse that one also. After she realizes that maybe you’d like grape juice, wiggle your way out of your high chair so that she gives up feeding you breakfast altogether.

Step 4. Now that it is mommy’s turn to get dressed, you have some time to cruise the house. At this point I usually feel a little bad because mommy seems worried about being on time. To make your mommy feel better, you can make a painting for her. My favorite thing to do is to make a grape juice painting on the carpet, and some on the walls just for a little extra detail. Don’t worry babies, mommy will love it! She always screams with delight when I do this trick!

Step 5. Well since mommy still isn’t ready, I’ll leave her another present. Last night she was watching this movie about a Notebook and she used a lot of tissues, so maybe I’ll pull some out of the box for her. Do you think 250 is enough?

Step 6. Number two. Do I need to say more?

Step 7. If your mommy finally manages to get you into the car, start bucking around like you’re riding a wild bull. So much fun!

Ok babies, now you are armed with seven tips to reclaim your mornings, so get out there and get to work!