American Mothers, Inc.

The Vital Art of Self Expression   

It is no secret that some children have no hesitancy at all about expressing their thoughts, opinions and feelings, while others weigh carefully every word thought and idea they have before giving expression to what is inside their head. 

Preschool children are at a wonderful stage of life in which they are learning to express themselves in many ways. Prior to that time, they are simply responding to life, but with the development of the new tool of language, their world of ideas begins to broaden, their thinking is more complex and their self expression is vital to their development. 

Several options for self expression can be open to every child:

Language expressions:
Our words are an anchor for our thoughts. The young child’s vocabulary grows with each new experience and as they get older with each new book they read. As mothers we can provide opportunities that nurture the self expression through language. Never squelch their verbalization, but give direct eye contact as they share whatever is on their mind.

As you watch your young children, describe what they are doing in rich descriptive words. Talk about their projects and its size, color, shape, texture. Talk about their process of developing their work and the time, energy and thinking that goes into accomplishments. Talk about what you notice in their feelings, explaining that there are no “bad or wrong feelings”. Mention anger, sadness, frustration, and fear along with happiness, excitement and joy. Suggest that they are all part of the human feelings menu. Use words that describe their accomplishments with generous words of praise and recognition of their success. 
Through hearing your verbal expressions, they will learn the beauty of language and will also be elevated in their feelings of acceptance from you. 

Play expressions:
Both boys and girls use pretend play as a major form of self expression. Imaginations are rich and varied even for very young children. Try not to interfere with play unless you as a mother are genuinely uncomfortable with what the child is doing or if it threatens to hurt someone or to break something. Be supportive of play by providing a variety of things to use such as dress up clothes, including hats, shoes, gloves, etc. Provide large boxes or other props. Even consider being a play partner yourself. 
Along with the opportunity you have to encourage self expression, you are giving the child the awareness that their ideas are interesting and valuable. 

Art Medium as a tool of expression:
Children are amazing at expressing themselves and how they are feeling through the use of paints, crayons, play dough, or other art media. Some creations may be somewhat abstract, but are valuable nonetheless. Blocks and other construction type toys also provide opportunity for giving expression to ideas. 
Never feel it is necessary to tell your child what or how to make something. You only need to be interested in what they are doing and then enjoy their explanation of what they have created. Perhaps they did nothing more than experiment with the materials and there will be no explanation. That is okay too. The process and experimentation are the “work” of children. It is often fun for a mother to offer to “write the story” of what the child says if he expresses his creation in such a way. This will definitely show interest in their ideas. 

Musical expression:
Creating and moving to music are the most basic ways children learn to express themselves. It is not uncommon to see babies bouncing and moving to music before they can even walk. Children will thrive on this form of expression especially if you provide a variety of musical experiences – different types of music such as lullabies, dancing music, activity music, nursery rhyme music, etc. Encourage the child to dance with scarves, ribbons, or other kinds of props. Stuffed animals make fun dancing partners for the more intimidated child. Hold the child’s hands occasionally and dance with them to share the experience and to help them move freely through an entire area of space.
Remember the singing is a tradition for every culture in the world. It is also a powerful means of self expression and release of emotions. Share feelings that can be felt with the varying types of music.

As a mother your awareness of these various methods of self expression will help you provide opportunities that give your children opportunities to thrive and find joy as they navigate the world of growing up. 

Marilyn Dougall is the mother of 11 grown children and 26 grandchildren. Marilyn has a Bachelor of Science degree in Secondary Education and finds joy in teaching children and adults, serving in her church and community and her involvement in American Mothers. As such, she has been the Oregon Mother of the Year, State Search Chair, State President, National Resolution Chairman, National Area Coordinator as well as her current position, 2nd Vice President. Marilyn and her husband, John, reside in Oregon.